hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
