I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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