I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Can Purell be used as lube?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
