So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We are all done wearing pants today
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
