Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Hippo gnu deer
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
