I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
