no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
