All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize