The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
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I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
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Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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