Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
