I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
