i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
