Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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