What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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