So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
