I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I have aggressive nipples.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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