All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
