is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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