oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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