Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So much rum. So many feels.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
