I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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