you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just invented taco cereal.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
