Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
