i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
