Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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