so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
