Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
