He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
