3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
