it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize