he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
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I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
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the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize