dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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