remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
