Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
