My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
