I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
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Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.