I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.