Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  happy early fathers day!!!

  (829): View more from Dominican Rep

  im not a father

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  about that...

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  (843): happy early fathers day!!! (829): im not a father (843): about that... http://tfl.nu/tk4z
  Replies (225) Good night (7950) Bad night (72841)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.

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  (703): BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP. http://tfl.nu/bqsy
  Replies (20) Good night (988) Bad night (6520)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.

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  (804): god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked. http://tfl.nu/eqg5
  Replies (8) Good night (3068) Bad night (833)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit

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  (937): don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit http://tfl.nu/p5pp
  Replies (18) Good night (3720) Bad night (794)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...

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  (217): I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting... http://tfl.nu/eihm
  Replies (11) Good night (2456) Bad night (826)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?

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  (920): I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer? http://tfl.nu/t39o
  Replies (3) Good night (889) Bad night (2046)
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  (925): View more from California

  The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves

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  (925): The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves http://tfl.nu/ye71
  Replies (4) Good night (515) Bad night (1519)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche

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  (612): I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche http://tfl.nu/ro2o
  Replies (5) Good night (732) Bad night (413)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.

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  (307): Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf. http://tfl.nu/cifg
  Replies (4) Good night (940) Bad night (364)
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  (914): View more from New York

  You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.

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  (914): You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking. http://tfl.nu/b0zf
  Replies (1) Good night (708) Bad night (465)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.

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  (847): I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time. http://tfl.nu/5b3l
  Replies (4) Good night (1033) Bad night (378)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.

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  (613): Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee. http://tfl.nu/d96h
  Replies (2) Good night (866) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?

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  (312): he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent? http://tfl.nu/n82j
  Replies (7) Good night (368) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  She won. Twice.

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  (519): Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition. (1-519): She won. Twice. http://tfl.nu/gb3x
  Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins

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  (678): You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major. (404): I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins http://tfl.nu/kskd
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (220)

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