Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen

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  (614): Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen http://tfl.nu/x16d
  Replies (15) Good night (3249) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.

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  (503): bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it. http://tfl.nu/wqus
  Replies (20) Good night (4298) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."

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  (512): At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'." http://tfl.nu/z1xk
  Replies (21) Good night (5998) Bad night (587)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.

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  (912): Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up. http://tfl.nu/ccc0
  Replies (4) Good night (4139) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...

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  (615): At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board... http://tfl.nu/p8y8
  Replies (11) Good night (3282) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.

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  (518): plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls. http://tfl.nu/e2rh
  Replies (29) Good night (5700) Bad night (1087) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.

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  (703): i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon. http://tfl.nu/dn2m
  Replies (15) Good night (1273) Bad night (1593) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.

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  (401): Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face. http://tfl.nu/dfnt
  Replies (13) Good night (2343) Bad night (856) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you

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  (214): If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you http://tfl.nu/i2kd
  Replies (7) Good night (1113) Bad night (1815) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."

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  (215): What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller." http://tfl.nu/x4em
  Replies (21) Good night (2789) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".

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  (973): i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on". http://tfl.nu/pnhv
  Replies (7) Good night (1350) Bad night (614) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.

  (1-530): View more from California

  at least it wasnt animals

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  (530): Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences. (1-530): at least it wasnt animals http://tfl.nu/kq9s
  Replies (3) Good night (827) Bad night (1316) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.

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  (309): But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something. http://tfl.nu/dcqe
  Replies (2) Good night (610) Bad night (203) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.

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  (336): You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that. http://tfl.nu/r9t5
  Replies (7) Good night (478) Bad night (274) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.

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  (570): A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5. http://tfl.nu/uyai
  Replies (3) Good night (758) Bad night (199)

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