Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
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Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.