11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
