i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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