No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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