part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
