i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
