I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
