Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
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I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
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I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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