I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
40s are totally the cure
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
