i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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