East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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