Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My pussy is not your playground.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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