and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
