I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
