What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
