I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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