Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
