It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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