woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
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I booty called her while she was in labor.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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