I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
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He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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