how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
