I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
