I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I want a musical about memes.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
