He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
